Look up the sky. I saw nothing today. A few birds flying only.
Don’t know I got this strange feeling that I don’t belong to this world.
Can’t seems to hear things. Seems that I am deaf.
Am I okay? Or Am I dying?
Didn’t eat much today. Plan to go out for a jog alone tommorrow.
Hope the sky doesn’t rain. If not I have to stay at home and faced the wall.
Guess that many friends tried to contact or sms me but didn’t managed to get me. I’m sorry. My handphone is not on when I’m on duty. I have no energy to reply. My body seems weak and tired.
Today is 29th September.
Sky is already dark. I just reached home.
Tired and giddy. Didn’t take my lunch.
Can’t make myself eat. Everything seems turing around.
Last night,I dreamt of a patient. She told me that it’s good to be relieved from the pain she is suffering.
I think everyone is suffering. How I wish I never wake up.
Today is wednesday. A normal day.
Another normal day, which one of the patient died.
Didn’t managed to take alook at her face before she went away.
My heart kind of sung. Never Mind.
Went to watch movie with Shuxian and Yiping.
Went home after that. Bought dinner.
No appetitite. No taste. Vomited alittle.
Don’t feel like eating. Wish to sleep never to wake up again.
This few days was like I’m dreaming. A dream that was so tired. I don’t wish to wake up. I feel my life is meaningless. Similiar to the patients lying at the ward. I see them departing this realistic and meaningless world.
I thought I used to have friends. But, now they are nothing. I’ve no friends. They had left me long ago, in term of our friendship. I couldn’t say they change. But they left me. No one seems to remember. It’s okay. This is the worst part of my life. I had never been like that before. I feel like dying. I wish god just let me die in my sleep peacefully. I starve myself everyday not for the sake of starving because I couldn’t eat anymore. My food is tasteless and bland. My life is nothing compare to an animial. Let me die.
-隱藏自己的疲倦表達自己的狼狽放縱自己的狂野找尋自己的明天-
I’m tired. Where are you? Anyone there for me?
