Facades Exists Between You And Me

Today is 25th April 2007. I finally got my very own life-time driving liscence. It’s like finally. What a long awaited one~ I took like one year to have an liscence. It’s a tiring process, for people like me who is still schooling. Everytime must rush down to BBDC. The feeling is so frustrating.

I must say it’s hard to pass with manual car. Cause mostly, which I noticed, those people who passed takes auto-cars. Maybe, they don’t have to worry about engine being stall and changing of gears. I must say I’ve regret taking manual cars. I should have take auto-cars from begining. Anyway, cars nowadays are automated. Even, my bro and bro-in-law changed their cars from manual to auto-cars. For people, who intend to take up driving course, please think carefully. Don’t convinently think that take manual class can drive both manual and auto-cars. Manual is just very troublesome. End of each driving lesson, your legs will ached to the max. Especially, during a jam. Your legs with clutched untill siao. Maybe to me lah. It’s very taxing and stressed. Need to have time. But, anyway it’s over already. Lols. I spent so much money. Finally, no more le. Phews~

Today, my mood to BBDC was very dampened. I just feel very tired to take test. Ultra-ly and super-ly. I went there with a mixed feeling. Of wanting to pass + very super sian to take test. Probably past few days also not enough sleep. I seriously think that I am in a sleep debt. And also because is like 2 times failed le. Lols.

Anyway, I strike curb today. And there it goes 10 demerit points accumulated. But, I was surprised. I did alot of mistakes here and there. But still okay lah. But, I think the tester is good. He talked to me, which calmed me down alot. Asked where I stay. He say I look nervous. Asked me to relax. Kaoz. How to sia?!.

When I strike the curb I thought I immediate failure. But who knows, I didn’t. Haha.Then at the end of the test. He told me that  I like to brake very late. He say I from begining untill the end also so nervous. Then he asked me will I do the same next time and why am I so nervous? I said because it was 3 attempted le. Then, I was taken aback by the words "next time??.." Did I heared wrongly? Then he went on and say "Okay, I passed you okay?" Then I finally smile. Then I start saying: "Thank You!" Lols. He said must promised him, I will drive better next time. Haha. Then I said "Okay!"

Well, I hoped this is not a dream that I’ve passed. I still find it unbelievable. Or probably is all on luck. =) Thanks for all the wished and blessings from my friends. It really come true. =) Thanks alot to those who concerned.

P/s:Learning to let go makes me happier alot…

Lessons learnt for the week:

"Humans just doesn’t practise what they preached. I am just confused by some actions,thoughts and thinking of theirs. So, tell me whom can we trust or turned to in the future?  Perhaps, only to our hearts and souls? There isn’t a choice for us, but yet we had to do so. Changes may comes by anytime. Just don’t wanna think about it, don’t wanna talk about it no more."

The above-mentioned means no harm hor. I am not refering to anyone. Haha. Just some reflection of myself for this week. Play safe before I offend anyone. Laughs.

Sian. I nose-bled again just now. Blame it on my tiny nose vessels that ruptured easily. I think I’m just lack of sleep that’s all. Yap. I had my bond signed le. I can’t believed that I’m actually bonded, when I thought I was free all along. The feeling was like dammed confused. Like being tied down for 3 years. Is not that I don’t like nursing. I just couldn’t explain it. It ’s just like getting married? Lol. Or being in a relationship? Cause it like being tied down. Aiya. It’s just beyond words. But still, I’m gonna to work towards my goals and dreams. =D I guessed it’s never too late to fufill my dreams. The 2 main thing I want to do in my life is to go for missionary and learn music! I going to fufill them one day. I going to work towards it. =P

P/s:I couldn’t explain what’s on my mind lately. I couldn’t tell anyone too for being afraid of many things. How much I wanted to. I finally know how she feels.

Artist: JoJo
Album: The High Road (2006)
Song: How To Touch A Girl
Country: USA
Hits: 1917
Rating: 3.26

How To Touch A Girl
[Verse 1:]
I think I could like you, I already do.
Feelings can grow, but they can go away too.
You’re taking my hand, looking into my eyes.
Don’t be in a rush to get me tonight.
I feel something happening; could this be a spark?
To satisfy me baby, you gotta satisfy my heart.

[Chorus:]
Do you know How to Touch a Girl?
If you want me so much, first I have to know:
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what’s on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
You’ll go far in this world
if you know How to Touch a Girl.

[Verse 2:]
I think I could like you, but I keep holding back,
’cause I can’t seem to tell if you’re fiction or fact.
Show me you can laugh, show me you can cry.
Show me who you really are, deep down inside.
Do you feel something happening? Could this be for real?
I don’t know right now, but tonight we’ll reveal:

[Chorus:]
Do you know How to Touch a Girl?
If you want me so much, first I have to know:
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what’s on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
You’ll go far in this world
if you know How to Touch a Girl.

[Bridge:]
Bring me some flowers,
Conversation for hours,
to see if we really connect,
and baby, if we do,
I’ll be giving all my love to you!

[Chorus:]
Do you know How to Touch a Girl?
If you want me so much, first I have to know:
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what’s on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
You’ll go far in this world
if you know How to Touch a Girl…

P/s: Guys does not how to touch girls. So does girls. I don’t know how to touch a guy. =)

I’m finally back from Cambodia. Sick & busy for past few days. =) Now, finally got myself some time to update. Lazy as usual to type so much. Thus, just some short reflection I’ve written..

"Every trip serves as a constant reminder for me of how lucky & blessed I am. That’s why every year without failed. I somehow hope to visit other countries and do some community work. It also gives me an opportunity to breakaway from my current lifestyle in Singapore. I just want to make myself go through these. So that, images of these beautiful places I’ve been can keep playing in my brain to remind me how lucky I am to be a Singaporean.

Well, It doesn’t matter how many mud-houses, water-filters or ammentities I’ve built. Be it a 100 or 200 or even just 50 or 10 of them that I’ve built, I just feel happy to be there. It may not be an actual 13 days of full hard work at the village. But, some experiences is definately beautiful. Can you get as close to dirty pigs and cows? Is there a need for you pump your own water? I’m not trying to sound as though, we’ve done alot. Afterall, the effort & sincerity to make life better for others is there.

A man can give a 100 bucks to a poor lady saying that it is charity, making him feel great about himself. The next moment, he actually forgets totally about the poor women. Oh well, is actually the sincerity that counts that I’m trying to say. Thus, You don’t have to say how much you have done for a person.

Cambodia is very similiar to Kun Ming. The roads & heavy traffic of Phnom Penh is exactly like Kun Ming city areas. Cars goes honk-ing about. The scene look like 1970s-1980s of Singapore. I got this very familiar feeling when I first touched down to Cambodia. Maybe is located geographically near to China. Lol.

I like their unique way of living. Especially bargaining. "Sir/Madam, Cheap Cheap!." I had a hard time bargaining with the shop owners at Central market. It is one of the tourist attractions. They have watches, clothes, foods and etc selling there. You name it, you got it. Oh yeah, they can speak Chinese too, enough to bargain with you for more half an hour. =)

Cambodian depends alot on foreign revenue. Thus, they tend to mark up the prices of whatever they are selling. They may mark up to even 3-4 times. Even for food. Sounds incredible?

You see children and women begging for money on roads. You see people on selling food on streets. All these scences and images is hard to come by. Come on, in a country which is progressing well and with many restricted laws. How could you ever come acrossed such a scene? But! I don’t wish Singapore to become like a third-world country. Ha.

Cambodians always have noodles and tim sum (gluttinous rice, siew mai and etc) for breakfast. They like to place their utensils or rather cuttleries in a cup of hot water. Probably, to kill the germs or bacteria residing on forks, spoons or chop sticks. They like to drink hot tea or ice tea to go along with their food.

Oh yeah. I’m having suana sessions everyday in Cambodia. It really hot & warm. I am dehydrated almost everyday. I flushed myself with lotsa of water. But, at the same time, I feels healthier with all the toxics, which I believe, perspirated out the pores. Believe me, the scorching sun is turning me into dark.

Back to the topic, It is always a different feeling in these places whom I never been before. It feels as though, I have travelled miles back to the primitive same old me. I feels young & enegetic there. Making it sounds more exaggarated, I feel light there.

Taking for granted, I know these trips 3 meals are always provided. Life is always care-free. I don’t have to think so much. All you need is to work on your adrenaline, to make you look-forward to next day. Everyday is full of excitement.

I don’t like being back in Singapore. There’s always these emptiness that feels my heart after each trip I don’t know why. I missed the air, the people, the way of live. Everything in other countries. Perhaps, that kind of life is what I’m looking forward to. I want a slow-paced life. One without much high-technology stuffs.

Maybe, I am just trying to escape from reality. From reality problems by engaging at these trips. But, afterall when I’m back it’s still there. But,one thing I could say. You’ll find yourself loving these trips more than ever. If there were more of these expeditions, I guessed more of you will sign up.

Untill now, I am still mesmerised by the beauty of Angkor Wat. The building and sculptures really caught my eyes. Simplicity is beautiful. It is magnificent. No wonder, it is one of the 7 wonders of the world. Knowing from history that, it is built by the people during the A.D, I was impressed. This is because people during that time already understood what is real beauty.

They understand simple is beauty. This is what I called life. Cause I want to be happy and lead a simple life. =)

Well, knowing that I’m blessed, I would like to extend these blessing of mine to the others who is in need of help then I do. I love the lifestyle of other countries. Life can never be more simple then this. I love the way it is. I want to travelled to more of these countries. =)"

P/s: When I’m with you, I’m free =)