Facades Exists Between You And Me

Woohoo. Common test is finally over. I’m rather stressed about it for the past few days for those who knows. I believe it’s time to let my brain take abreak and starts reproducing its cells again. I guessed it all dead by now. Super afraid that I’ll fail. I hate to repeat papers. Especially NURM. 8 marks gone. To me it’s a redundant module. Nursing talk about inter-human relationship. It’s a process that happen naturally. Don’t have to study sia.

Well. It’s friday again. TGIF. =) It’s finally holiday! Throughout 2 years plus of holidays, this is the first time we don’t have attachment during holidays. BUT PRCP is gonna take over it job for the next half semester, which means I’ll have my 6 months attachment.

I don’t if I will graduate successfully. Really. I don’t know what will happened during the 6 months attachment. I don’t know if I can survived. It’s just in me that I’ve so many uncertainties about what coming next. About next moment. Those who know me. I lived day by day. Of course I planned my future, but if I didn’t be able to make it to fufilled my dreams due to short lived then..Too bad la. Haa.

"Talk about uncertainties, I just feel that life is just life. Life is not bored. Life is not sucks anymore. Life is..life. Boo. Even humans feelings, it couldn’t be certain anymore. I don’t say humans change. It’s not change. But, I just feel that people come and go in our life. I didn’t realised my life was such a lousy one when people just come and go. Maybe got room(hotel) inside! Okay not funny. *Lame* Laugh out loud. It’s a petty that I’m unable to get hold of each of them. I just can’t help to think this process is a waste of time and I find it stupid. But it stills goes on."

Everyone have their own individual life eventually. I don’t know what my life will end up with. That’s why I mentioned before. There’s a need to be independent.

I always don’t understand why God create humans to come and go in our life. Almost every minute and everday, some people will enter our life. Be it the period is short or long. Talk about leaving some good memories and helping you to pass you time? If that’s the case, it would be stupid. If I die, I will enter into a world of darkness. That’s it. How would I remembered what happened while I’m alive?

"Could I have just fainted and drop into the MRT track and got hit? My body is distorted and twisted like nobody business. Or could I have just got hit by a falling branches while walking on a road? Could I have overwork myself and I died in my sleep. Could I jog on the track one day, and never wake up? "

By the way, if I’m on coma and on life-substaining machines. Please. Please. Might as well disconnect the ventilator and let me go."

If I were to die, a instance death would be better. Faster pain and get over it. But must confirm guarantee stamp-stamp plus chop-chop die de. If not create a nuisance for others. That’s not something good.

"Someone ever asked me if I was afraid to die? My answer is NO. BUT. I am scared of pain only. If I could meet doctor death to assist me in euthanasia. If only euthanasia is a legal thing. And people don’t feel anything about death. That would be nice thing. Inject morphine. Woot!"

Then people always tell me. If you die, it not the end. People around you will be sad. They’ll will grieve for you. Ya true. But? How long will you grieve? A whole lifetime? Maybe. But, it a matter of time that all of us die. It’s only who is earlier and who later.

Better still, they said that the world is coming to an end. I believed. Maybe during our generations. It’s unstoppable and unbreakable. I personally feels that time in fact has become faster too. Tsunami was also sort of predicted my God! See! This world have no reasons but humans to live. Cause you never know what happened next moment.

"Don’t try to tell me treasure your life while you could and fufill whatever you can. I just find it riduculous when the world is even coming to an end one day!"

P/s: Have you ever wonder what would happened the next moment? If you know you are going die one day, will you still make an effort to live as hard as you can?

We met each other on the crossroad daily. But, will you people be there forever?