Facades Exists Between You And Me

Walking on the street daily, the feeling was like christmas day everyday - lonely one. It wasn’t christmas day, but I felt everyday was like one. One without love and hope. No santas, no pressies, no nothing. Even knowing that if the world’s coming to an end, there’s nothing i’ll wish or even wanted to do. Let it be. That was what life meant to me. Bad. Terrible. Hopeless. I don’t look forward. The routes with took in the begining of life was different. Never been the same. You never understand. My world consist of me, myself. That’s it.

But, ever since a bunch of people came into my life. Unknowing-ly. These people are unexpected. Could they just be people who god took pity upon me and drop upon me? I don’t know. I guessed it’s right. These people are people who wanted to show me life isn’t bad afterall. People who wants me to see that there’s a reason to live for tomorrow. People who wants to pick me up from my fall. The deep ones. People who show me love. Show me what is love? Shower me with care and concern. Showing me what is happiness. And that real happiness come from within you. Yourself. I didn’t know what is happiness untill I saw the smiles on their face. With little stupid pranky lame jokes that I’ve made.  And most importantly, they taught me how to spread love to others. I’ve been secretly trying real hard to pick up. Believe me. Seriously. And that they’re people who strike a thought in my mind that is - Nursing not bad afterall. They’re people who hold the flames that sparks the slightest hope in me when i’m seriously dead inside.

Because of these people. I’m trying seriously hard to forgive people who ever let me down, people who hurt me. Took away my pride, leaving me with a soul without feelings intact with. Sounding serious but it’s really not deceiving. I’m getting alive because of them. Trying to open myself up. I was in my own bubble all these while.

They’re like cheerful, innocent small kids poking the bubbles that have been floating on the air (directionless). After it’s broke. They will all rejoiced to the triumph. Because, they’ve won. Managed to save the bubble from being directionless.

People, I’ve got so much to say. Life is full of uncertainties. A fact that I couldn’t deny. I don’t know if I could make it through. Through PRCP. I can’t gurantee. Could bad things happened again? You know I bad at stuffs yeah. Well, seriously. Six months later. I don’t know if I’ll be there on the graduation ceremony to congrats each other. Telling ourselves we’ll make good nurses. I don’t know if there’s a chance to hold you guys hands telling you guys that "We’ll be friends forever." And things like..discussing what we’ll been doing down the roads. Where will we end up with? When will be the next time we meet? And you guys will go to the graduation ceremony to say "Hey, you’re my superwoman!." Telling me that you guys actually enjoy the lames joke i made was funny. And when we looked back our jokes been still as funny? And when’s the next kbox session? Shall me make up for a drink? and etc.

One day, when I’m not around I’ll bring the memories you guys gave with me. I promised to do so. The past definately be a shadow that follow us round. You guys don’t underestimate yourself. You guys definately are part of my life. Been part of my life. Thanks for that. If you ever thought you hadn’t really done anything for me. Then you guys are seriously wrong. For the least, you guys appeared in my life. A life that was never meant to be from the begining.

If you guys didn’t know, I do smiles at night on bed because I was thinking of the fun times we ever had spent together. Reminiscing how we actually met? Since when we started going out? The jokes we made. The stupids lines that we said.

These people are people who I wanna protect for life, if I ever had to live till the day I die. You guys can all sleep sound every night and count on me cause I’ll be there. Always there with you guys. True enough we never be able to accompany each other to the rest of the life. But for the least, at least we did in some part. Somehow. Part of it. I hope you guys will remember this shared memories that we all have together. Thanks for appearing in my life. Making my life something. I hope I’m not one of those who come and go in your life. For the least allow my memories to stay with you guys.

To Shuxian: You’ve a part in my life. Don’t doubt, you did. You always get apologetic that you didn’t done enough and been through the bad times with me. That’s certainly wrong. No. Don’t ever feel so. I know that you cared. Just that you didn’t know how to. How to cared for a heart that is badly hurt. Thanks for all the beautiful memories you gave me in year 1. That was the best part of poly life. I’ll never been so happy before. I always look back the times that 3 of us spent together. Our first kbox session. When we took silly photos and the first time you wanted to treat me coke. And my 19th birthday, you and yiping baked cheese cake for me. I always bear it in mind. Although, we not spending much day as during the past like year 1 but the feelings and bond will never change. Some kind of chemistry. And we get together I never feel weird at all. Just so enjoyable. I know you want me to know that I’m blessed. Now, I know. Cause I’ve friends like you. =) Thanks. Love you guys.

To Yiping: Happy go lucky pals. You’re like one of those friends I know I can count on when I have troubles. Thanks for the listening ears that you ever lend it to me. I found things in you. Happiness and simplicity. These qualities make you a person you are. Seriously. I learnt from you. Alot. To enjoy life and live each day like there’s no tomorrow. That’s how life should be isn’t it? I remember the first time we met. I sat beside you in class. You remember? You taught me how to sit a chair. It was a classic image that I’ll be in my mind forever. And the first girl in my class to give to my 18th birthday card. That meant alot alot to me. Cause there are people like you who bothers. Bothers about me. Remembers my birthday when school had only started 3 days? =) Thanks for giving me a life in poly. Love you guys.

To Liyana: You’re my super duper best malay poly pals in Ngee Ann throughout 3 years. Can you imagine how far we’ve come since year 1 till now. From the begining with Ms Yeo, Micheal, Ms Lee and till now - Dr. Tim. How we are saddened by the fact that people like Shuxian, Yi ping, Bei shan, Rui fang, Farini and Yati left our class but not others? Can you remember the times that we’ve been through together? The first BCLS lesson that we thought we really couldn’t make it and we almost give up together? The revision we always does together when accessments round the corner. Meals at al-azhar after 6pm, together with Suhailah and Hui Teng with Jonathan occassionally? You been through the bad times with me. I’m seriously thankful for your appearance. Thanks alot. Thanks for the surprises that you made for my birthday. HS Idol. And all. Love you guys. I always protect you on road. Your forever protector.

To Suhailah: Best malay pals in Ngee Ann. Thanks for everything. Thanks for appreciating my jokes. Thanks for listening to my craps in class when no one actually bothers. Thanks for listening to my woes and nagging session when I’m sitting beside you at class. You said: "Comedians use laughter to hide their pain." I’ll never forget this classic sentences that you’ve have in your nick. We’re like great minds thinking alike. You’re kind and easy-going. One of those who I know I can count on. And always reads my mind. Always asking me if I’m feeling okay? Remember our first Hari raya trip to geylang? When we search for good food with Nadeera and Liyana in Geylang. And our bowling sessions in Bukit Pajang Plaze. That was seriously dammed fun right? Thanks for the memories you gave me. I’ll take that along with me. Thanks for what you’ve done for me throughout my poly life with liyana. I love you guys.

To Aishah Sun/Tegoshi: I made a appearance in your life in year 1 but we came to know each other better at the end of year 2. Things was late but better than never. You said that I’m like a slibings that god gave you. Thanks for giving me the opportunity being the sister of yours. Oh well, I was thinking how miracle that we actually can go Tioman together with Bei. Can you ever imagine? I actually never ever thought that we’ll be on a trip together. I looked back and recalled remember the point where we’re on bad terms regarding GLs matter. The thought of it makes me smiles. Realising how far we’ve all come to. You’ve grown. I seen the growth in you over 3 years. You tone down a little quiet but grown up. A young mature adult. Knowing how to care for others, appreciate nice things on earth. Life’s isn’t bad afterall right? Maybe, you didn’t know. You make a good Adeik to me. My forever Adeik. I remember you forever. My one & only malay sister. Thanks for everything you done.

To Beishan: Life’s incredible full of unexpectants. You’re one of the unexpected things that happened in my life. Your appearances in my year 3 seriously unexpected. We didn’t really talk in year 1 ya? Your appearance was late but worthwhile. Better than never. I can’t remember since when we start talking. Just like Aishah. I didn’t know we hit on so well with the rest till now. You’re always so nice to us and being so positive. We’re like super crap and lame when we get together. Can you imagine we can talk and talk in Tioman discussing who is handsome? And when Aishah is sleeping like nobody’s business? Tioman memories will remain in my mind forever. And remember the times we spent together swimming & gyming at the condo and when you peggy bag me in the water? Our first Jamming session at music school?  Lastly, all our kbox sessions with classic oldies by Hui Teng? All that, I’ll bring it along with me. It’s like we can talked about anything under the sun. You’re always so encouraging. Making me wonder where does all your energy how from within. If someone ever asked me what are some of the happy things happened in my life, is that I met a friend like you. =) Someone I’ll never regret knowing. Thanks for involving me in your life in year 3 with the rest like Huiteng, LiHsien and Aishah. Thanks for what you have done in for me. HS idol and stuff. Thanks.

To Hui Teng: You’re the one appreciate my jokes. Who have the same imagination that goes wild with me. Hui Teng. You’re just like Bei unexpected people in my year 3 life. I appreciated your appearance. You always laughed at my silly cranky jokes. From the bottom of my heart, I felt so honoured. At least, there are people who appreciate me. Your laughter is infectious. I feel happy at the same time while making you laugh you see. I’ll never forget the times we spend together sourcing for good food and stuffs. Enjoy life like no ones business. Making trips to JB to experience new stuffs. That kind of experience was hard to find. The only time when I feel that god was kind to me was the time I spend with you. Could it be because of our age then we shared similiar thinking for most things? I don’t know. I just know that we hit of very well. One semester is enough. To find a friend like you. I will miss your singing in kbox. All your classic old songs remains in my mind. May you be happy always and enjoy life to the fullest. Thanks for your appearance. Bei sayings :"Life’s good. Use LG." I guessed you bear it in mind too. I love you guys.

To Rui Fang: I’m sorry if I hadn’t done anything for you in the past 2 years. Or hadn’t done enough. I don’t know. Or I hope I did actually play apart in your life. But the least, if I’m not around one day. And when you looked back. You actually remember me and you will actually smile while thinking the about the jokes that I made. Life was tought ain’t it? I just want you to know. You’re actually blessed. Blessed with people who cared about you. Always looked back and remember than your life is full of people who loves and care about you. I thanked god for your appearance too. Remember the times we spent together for revision with Bei? Remember every wednesday we’ll spend time in SIM foodcourt eating Ban Mian and discussing stuffs like how S.H.E is doing. Why Hebe is so chio? And at times spend at sharing gossips about others as well. And also. Thanks for confiding in me your problems too. Although I didn’t really help much but I appreciated that you shared with me. I’m honoured too. Rui fang, we need to be brave and determined in doing things. We gotta tell ourselves that alright? Nothing’s gonna bring us down right? We can always count on each other alright? Nothing’s gonna pull us down. Thanks for your appearance. I love you guys. Thanks so much.

To Li Hsien: You’re so cute. I only know you this year. But But But. I see something in you. Innocent plus simplicity. All I know. Thanks for appreciating my "code black" jokes. I really enjoy the jamming session with you in the music school. I know you do too. The look from the smiles tells me everything about you. Your smiles consist of simplicity and happiness plus a important factor called "innocence". And that is infectious. I feel happy when you’re happy too. That how life’s should be. Simple and happy is all that we asked for isn’t it? Thanks for your support during HS Idol. Haha. The board that you’ve made. That was nice. Thank you. I hope 10 years down the road when you look back, you still remember the jokes that I’ve made.

To June: You’re so nice. I really cherish the friendship with you. It is just so incredible how we met. It all goes back to the pungol camp bbq sessions and following by FOC camp during year 1. That was where our friendship bond was built up right? You are really innocent fellow. Pure innocence. Because the look from your expressions tells me what you’re feeling now. You’re someone with very little words but full of feelings deep down inside. You don’t really speak much of yourself. Or maybe sometimes I should say you don’t know how to consoled me? I thanked god for letting me know you. Thanks for including me in your year 2 and 3 life. Thanks for your support during Hs idol. You cried didn’t you? I know you’re feeling happy and touched for me. Thanks for making my dreams come true. It couldn’t be possible without people like you. I never forget those days of attachment in TTSH and KKH with you. We’ll just talked and talked. Now that your back to SGH without me irritating you anymore, I hope you do well there ya. Thanks for all the memories you gave me. I hope one day you looked back, you remember that there this girl who always like to sing during attachment with you. Thanks for your appearance in my life.

To Li Tang: Thanks for sharing your life about your past and problems with me. I know you about the same time with June. Because of GLs and we met each other. You always tells me that God gave me obstacles for a reason. Trying to make things correct. Telling me life is a matter of how you aproach it and make it through. All these golden words will remain in my mind. I remember the times we spend together going out. Having steamboat at my house. All these are all memories. Thanks for hearing me out when I need a listening ear. You’re a good listener. A good one. I hope I ever did play apart in your life. Although, we didn’t go out with each other as often now. But when we looked back, I guess all the common memories that we all have will remained in hearts and minds. Thanks for being my friend.

To Yi Ting: I met you from GLs. Well, GLs is good afterall. Because, we’ve met. Thanks for being my friends. Seriously. Thanks for sharing your problems with me the other time during GLs chalet. Allowing me to shoulder some of the burdern in you. I remember telling you things will go smoothly, if you have the belief in you. So, Whenever you’re down. Remember what I said. It’s all the belief that plays apart in life. Thanks for friends. Seriously. Thanks.

To Gwen: You really played a great friend. A serious good listener and someone I seriously can count on. You’re a great person that god gave me. The best thing that could ever happened from the whole Cambodia Trip is that I’ll be able to get to know you. For the least, God was kind to me. Thanks for sharing some of your woes with me. I’m honoured to do so. And ya. I don’t know why who clicked so well ya. We can like talked about anything under the sun. Shared nice songs like Hillsongs, Third day and more. And it goes on to grey anatomy. Thanks for coming to my house for the jamming sessions. It’s was fun and enjoyable. I’ll remember the times we jammed together and learning guitar from you. Immitating greys character. Talking about meredith and derick. Driving stuffs. Fun times at Cambodia van’s back seat together with Daphne, Syakinah, Jonathan and Diana. Thanks for so much. Maybe you didn’t know what you have done. But, there so much you have done that you didn’t know. Thanks alot. Really. Thanks.

To Jonathan: From the bottom from my heart seriously gotta thanked you. Don’t doubt. Thanks for being there when I’m down. You’re highly sensitive to people feeling. Always know when I’m feelings down. I’m sorry if I ever scolded you or attitude you. I hope you seriously don’t take it to heart. But, you definately play apart in my poly life. Think about it, we actually went to both yep trips together. That’s like incredible. Well. Thanks so much. Good luck for your attachment and PRCP.

To Cheryl chew: Someone who is determined and uphold all your principles till now. That’s something good. Thanks for all your notes ya in year 2 and thanks for keeping me all the updates about things in health sciences. Thanks for playing apart in my poly life too. Thanks thanks.

To Veron + Camila + Pearlyn: Thanks for playing apart in my year 2 and 3 life. We had so much fun time in P06. It’s all memories that we never forget right? With Dr. Tim. Always immitating him and say "yayayayaya..". All the best for attachment and PRCP. I don’t know when is the next time we all meet again. Shall take care ya. I love you guys.

To Aili And Huizhi: Thanks for playing apart in my poly life. Being my classmates. I enjoyed being your classmates too. It was short and sweet. Bet, we will all never forget ya. Thanks so much. I will miss you guys.

To Farini: I’ll always remember your smiles and our attachment days in day care centers with Huizhi. That days fun right? I’ll bear in mind forever. Thanks for being my classmates in year one. Seriously, thanks. Good luck for attachment. I’ll miss you.

To Nadeera: You’re not forgotton too. You’ll be remembered for calling me "stail". What a word. Haha. That’s what we learn from Suhailah. I have nice time with you together with Liyana and Suhailah. Thanks for all the memories. Thank you. I love you guys. Remember there’s someone whom you called "stail", when you ever look back.

To P06: The best I ever had. Thanks alot. You guys rocks. Thanks you. I wil miss you guys. Riana, Clare,Cheryl, Suhailah, Liyana, Yu Xuan, Charmane, Jonathan, Hui Teng, Veronica, Pearlyn, Camila, Huizhi, Aili and Shamini.

Had I ever miss anyone one out? If I did. I sorry. Well, just like to thanks everyone for appearing in my poly life. Thanks everyone in HS. Even if not being mention. Well, it was short and sweet. Even Hazel (My angel in Kun Ming Trip), Li Jia(From Kun Ming Trip too!), Nadia and Nurul. Also, P10 (Meimei & gang) + Serene Ong and Yali. Thanks for your support during Hs Idol. Thanks for the flowers. P02 (with June and clan) for surprise birthday celebration outside Lt 50. And I’ll miss you everyone. Thanks for everyone who make my dream come true on 1st August 2007. Thanks for the votes and those who were swaying together with me when I sang. Thanks for making my poly life a beautiful memories. May you guys be good nurses and I’m sure you guys will be. One day when not around, we’ll all look back and to find that all these memories are worthwhile. So sweet. Always. All the best.

P/s: 10 years down the roads. Will you remember me?